This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children’s absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children’s failing grades changed to passing grades – even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work to pass their classes.

This silly day gives me a chance to tell me my favorite joke

Why are pirate videos illegal?

Because they arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre�

There are some really good bits in like the bit about lost weekend on page 198.

Lost weeks are so dubbed because they are periods in which, due to overrindulgence, once loses everything – money, sense, dignity, memory, coordination and bowel control. There are not necessarily limited to a weeked , and can last as long as a month, depending on how dedonistic and out of balance your life has become.

You can buy it on Amazon.co.uk and at time of writing was only �6.71. You can find it use ISBN which is 0 95361 1035.

You can also find more cheeky guides at their official website.

Whether you�re still deciding where to go or just two weeks from your finals, this book is an absolute must.

I can not believe I thought of this before. If you were hated George Bush or simply need a laugh you think about give this a try.

1. Create a new file.
2. Name it “George Bush”.
3. Press delete to send it to the recycle bin.
4. Empty the recycle bin.
5. Your PC will ask you, “Do you really want to delete “George Bush?”.
6. Firmly Click “Yes.”
7. Feel better

My personal favourite is Question 35 which is called Ninja Poetry if showcases the ninja at his funniest. If you have a question for the Ninja it is easy, just email him AskANinja@gmail.com.

For more information about the Ninja, check the links below

Askaninja Links

• Ask A Ninja – Podcast
• Ask A Ninja – Windows Media Player feed
• Ask A Ninja – Official website
• Ask A Ninja – Official MySpace
• Ask A Ninja – Official Youtube channel

Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month.

By my calculations, three ‘nanoseconds’ must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my Social Security check, an arrangement that, I admit, has been in place for only eight years.

You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.

I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity that your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan payments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an offence under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact Status that I require your chosen employee to complete.

I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.

Please note that a Notary Public must countersign all copies of his or her medical history, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number that he/she must quote in dealings with me.

I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modelled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows:

1– To make an appointment to see me.
2– To query a missing payment.
3– To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
4– To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
5– To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
6– To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
7– To leave a message on my computer (a password to access my computer is required. A password will be communicated to you at a later date to the Authorized Contact.)
8– To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
9– To make a general complaint or inquiry, the contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.

While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cove r the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous, New Year.

Your Humble Client

(Remember: a 98-year-old woman wrote this)

JUST GOTTA LOVE SENIORS!

I also made this one, I don’t think anyone else but me and a few others will get the joke.

So what is this joke?

Drum roll please…..

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: ?My friend is dead! What can I do?? The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: ?Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.? There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: ?OK, now what?”

What do you think?

Read more about the joke