This is the message that the Maroochydore High School, Queensland, Australia, staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine. This is the actual answering machine message for the school.
This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children’s absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children’s failing grades changed to passing grades – even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work to pass their classes. (more…)
Arrggghh
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This post is in honnor of International Talk Like A Pirate Day which is t’celebrated every year on the 19th of September. So I would like to say Arrgghh to all Mateys and Ahoy to my Beauty.
This silly day gives me a chance to tell me my favorite joke
Why are pirate videos illegal?
Because they arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre�
University life Part 3
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Continuing on the University life series, is a book you must read if you are a student. In my first month at uni I was really depressed and I hang home alot. My mum knew that I was in a bad way and was looking for a way to cheer me up. So you ordered this book for me and sent straight to my halls. I must admit that it is one of the best books that I have ever had a chance to read. It is so funny and I know now that so much of it was true.
There are some really good bits in like the bit about lost weekend on page 198.
Lost weeks are so dubbed because they are periods in which, due to overrindulgence, once loses everything – money, sense, dignity, memory, coordination and bowel control. There are not necessarily limited to a weeked , and can last as long as a month, depending on how dedonistic and out of balance your life has become.
You can buy it on Amazon.co.uk and at time of writing was only �6.71. You can find it use ISBN which is 0 95361 1035.
Whether you�re still deciding where to go or just two weeks from your finals, this book is an absolute must.
Delete Bush
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I can not believe I thought of this before. If you were hated George Bush or simply need a laugh you think about give this a try.
Create a new file.
Name it “George Bush”.
Press delete to send it to the recycle bin.
Empty the recycle bin.
Your PC will ask you, “Do you really want to delete “George Bush?”.
Firmly Click “Yes.”
Feel better
Ask A Ninja
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When trying to fill the many hours I have free now that I am a student I found this and I needed to post about it. Askaninja is kind easily the funniest thing I have ever seen on Youtube, ever. It is shockingly random comedy. The series, is a podcast created by Los Angeles improvisational comedians Kent Nichols and Douglas Sarine, features a ninja who answers e-mails from “viewers”. The ninja seems to be going extremely popular, I was walking down the hall the other day and heard the theme song coming out of at least two rooms. If you don’t believe me, it even won best series in the 2006 Youtube awards.
My personal favourite is Question 35 which is called Ninja Poetry if showcases the ninja at his funniest. If you have a question for the Ninja it is easy, just email him AskANinja@gmail.com. (more…)
Real letter to the bank
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A 98-year-old American woman wrote this to her bank. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times… but you could just imagine this being published in the London Times also….
Dear Sir:
I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month.
By my calculations, three ‘nanoseconds’ must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my Social Security check, an arrangement that, I admit, has been in place for only eight years.
You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.
My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.
I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity that your bank has become.
I was sorting through some old stuff the other day and came across this. Okay that is a lie but what if it was true. This is another example of the wonders of the internet, allowing you to waste your time better and faster. Says-it’s Cassette Generator allows you create a visual tape with your own text. It allows you to customize the top three lines with your own text. So if your not part of the MP3 age, give it ago and see what you can make.
I also made this one, I don’t think anyone else but me and a few others will get the joke.
Best Joke in the world
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A study, lasting many years has been done to find the best joke in the world. The study done by the people at the laughlab allowed people to upload there own jokes and then other people can rate the joke. The joke with highest overall rating was called the best joke in the world. LaughLab certainly captured the public’s imagination ? they received over 40,000 jokes and almost 2 million ratings.
So what is this joke?
Drum roll please…..
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: ?My friend is dead! What can I do?? The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: ?Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.? There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: ?OK, now what?”
