Spacedmonkey

10. Runs on 200 D batteries
9. In the morning you have to defrost it
8. Runs on Windows 78
7. Box reads Pre-loaded with hundreds of viruses!
6. Tech support number is a Silicon Valley burger king
5. For better internet reception, salesman includes pair of rabbit ears
4. You move the pointer around by licking the screen
3. It’s made by IBN
2. The mouse bit you
1. When you tell it to print, it tells you to go screw yourself